If you have been diagnosed with CFS/FM, chances are fairly good that I’ve been where you may be at. Forty-three years ago, I developed Chronic Fatigue Syndrome; sixteen years ago, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. After that second diagnosis, I took to my couch for a decade, losing bits and pieces of myself and my life to what I not-so-affectionately called ‘The Bottomless Black Pit of Fibro’. There was no energy to expend on anything except perhaps throwing away thousands of dollars on ‘sure fire’ cures that did not work.
There are a lot of resources out there - books, blogs, support groups, health centres, therapists - all dedicated to helping people deal with the challenges of life with fibro or CFS, but I’ve not seen one address the problem of pain and predators. It is an unfortunate reality that the vultures circle around those in pain and desperation.
Raz, my friend’s cat, is having some painful dental problems. The first indication that all was not well with her was that she went into hiding. Most animals are smart enough to go to ground when injured or ill in order to protect themselves from those who prey upon the weak. Humans? Not so much!
There seems to be the idea that, if we only take out our martyr’s kit, plaster the back of our hands against our forehead while wailing “woe is me”, as often and insistently as possible, someone will come along with THE KEY to healing (or at least give us lots of sympathy for our terrible lot in life). The reality is that, along with making ourselves even more miserable - not to mention really tedious to be around - we attract the predators who are just waiting for the opportunity to lighten our bank accounts.
I learned my lesson the hard (and very, very expensive way), and I would like to share this lesson with you here and now, with the hope that you can keep more of your money in your bank account. If someone comes up to you and says, “I have a client who used to have Fibro, but after working with me for several months, she is now pain free and living the life she used to have. I can heal you from Fibro and you can have an absolutely fabulous life” - RUN! FAST! You are being conned by a master manipulator, not being invited to good health.
It is tempting to fall for these cons, because we so desperately want our lives back the way they were B.F. (before fibro), and it is so very difficult to turn our backs on hope. But we must be aware that the holistic health industry is almost completely unregulated and thus attracts those sociopathic-type individuals who would feed off our desperation. The allopathic medical field is not any better, even though it has the appearance of being better regulated.
Bottom line: NO-ONE can heal you of CFS/Fibro. The cause is, as yet, unknown. There is, as yet, no cure. There ARE good, decent people out there in both allopathic and holistic medicine who can act as change agents, who can coach, guide, mentor, offer various treatment modalities or even just lend a sympathetic ear - but we must do our due diligence, beginning with being aware that some of the most charming and plausible people out there are complete frauds.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Where is YOUR Magic Place?
After almost a week of intense heat, humidity and extreme UV values, 36C (about 96F) feels wonderful - almost refreshing! I’ve just returned with my dog Pixie from a lovely long walk at our favourite lakeside park in downtown Ottawa. This park is a magical place. Odd and delightful things happen here - people smile and talk to perfect strangers. The animals... well, their behaviours are sometimes extraordinary. Although it is very late in the season for them, a couple of days ago we discovered two brand new ducklings quite a distance from the lake. They were huddled up against the base of my favourite oak tree, a grand old man I’ve named Cyclops the Gatekeeper. Pixie was very un-doglike (is that a word?), and simply sat down to look at them from a respectful distance. Yesterday, we were stalked and very deliberately and precisely dive-bombed by a lovely copper coloured butterfly. Today, a bunny hopped out of a bed of lilies as we walked by, then sat there and boldly stared us down. After the butterfly stalking incident, it was easy to imagine the bunny considering madly hopping along behind us, all the better to hitch a ride on Pixie’s back. In fact, it seems perfectly reasonable (at least to me) to suppose that there are garden fairies, pixies and angels just that little bit out of one’s visual field.
My point is that this space feeds my spirit and my belief in possibilities, just as my beloved Pixie makes my heart sing. It is not simply about connecting with nature - the park is a beautifully manicured man-made creation, while my backyard defies my every effort and resembles a woodland glade much more than a yard in downtown Ottawa. But the park... ah, the park is a magical place of transformation. At the park, I am a powerful being! At the park, I am reminded that my body still works - and well. It walks, bends and twists and sometimes even allows me to play rough-and-tumble with Pixie. I have confidence that it will carry me where I want to go. At the park, anything is possible!
This is not something I take for granted. Thirty-two months ago, it took me a week to plan our first visit to the park. To ‘normals’, this might seem quite a bit over the top, but anyone with CFS/FM knows that ‘spontaneous’ doesn’t happen all that often. So, I tried to plan ahead for any and every eventuality. First on the list: purchase a cell phone, just in case I needed to call for help. A fanny pack was next. Using the strap as an anchor, I could attach Pixie’s leash directly to me, which gave me confidence that, if I passed out or went into A-Fib, Pixie would remain safely by my side. Besides poop bags, the fanny pack was stocked with Bach’s Rescue Remedy, a tiny bottle of Litsea essential oil (again, in case of A-Fib), and a Migra-stick (in case of a sudden migraine attack), along with my license, health card, and emergency contact information. All geared up - and all out of excuses - I eventually got past my fear and “what ifs”, grabbed a couple of bottles of water, loaded Pixie into his car seat, and off to the park we went.
Commissioner’s Park, at Dow’s Lake in downtown Ottawa, is the site of the annual National Tulip Festival and it is divided into four sections. That first day, Pixie and I walked about 1/4 of the way around one of the sections - 1/16 of the park. I could have focused on how limited our outing was and felt disappointed, but instead I chose to celebrate my accomplishment. After almost a decade spending the greater part of my life on my couch, being able to walk around 1/16 of the park was HUGE!
These days, we walk around the entire park at least twice. Due to the heat, today Pixie and I meandered around the pathways throughout the entire park just once. I’m proud of myself for this, too (did I mention the heat intolerance that plagues those with CFS/FM)?
Every single day, I am mindful of the magic of the park. And every single day, I am mindful that this particular journey started with just two thoughts: first, that I will NOT have my life defined for me by a diagnostic label; and, second, that as long as I’m alive, there is potential for positive change.
Where is your magic place? What fills you with determination to live beyond the limits of the label?
My point is that this space feeds my spirit and my belief in possibilities, just as my beloved Pixie makes my heart sing. It is not simply about connecting with nature - the park is a beautifully manicured man-made creation, while my backyard defies my every effort and resembles a woodland glade much more than a yard in downtown Ottawa. But the park... ah, the park is a magical place of transformation. At the park, I am a powerful being! At the park, I am reminded that my body still works - and well. It walks, bends and twists and sometimes even allows me to play rough-and-tumble with Pixie. I have confidence that it will carry me where I want to go. At the park, anything is possible!
This is not something I take for granted. Thirty-two months ago, it took me a week to plan our first visit to the park. To ‘normals’, this might seem quite a bit over the top, but anyone with CFS/FM knows that ‘spontaneous’ doesn’t happen all that often. So, I tried to plan ahead for any and every eventuality. First on the list: purchase a cell phone, just in case I needed to call for help. A fanny pack was next. Using the strap as an anchor, I could attach Pixie’s leash directly to me, which gave me confidence that, if I passed out or went into A-Fib, Pixie would remain safely by my side. Besides poop bags, the fanny pack was stocked with Bach’s Rescue Remedy, a tiny bottle of Litsea essential oil (again, in case of A-Fib), and a Migra-stick (in case of a sudden migraine attack), along with my license, health card, and emergency contact information. All geared up - and all out of excuses - I eventually got past my fear and “what ifs”, grabbed a couple of bottles of water, loaded Pixie into his car seat, and off to the park we went.
Commissioner’s Park, at Dow’s Lake in downtown Ottawa, is the site of the annual National Tulip Festival and it is divided into four sections. That first day, Pixie and I walked about 1/4 of the way around one of the sections - 1/16 of the park. I could have focused on how limited our outing was and felt disappointed, but instead I chose to celebrate my accomplishment. After almost a decade spending the greater part of my life on my couch, being able to walk around 1/16 of the park was HUGE!
These days, we walk around the entire park at least twice. Due to the heat, today Pixie and I meandered around the pathways throughout the entire park just once. I’m proud of myself for this, too (did I mention the heat intolerance that plagues those with CFS/FM)?
Every single day, I am mindful of the magic of the park. And every single day, I am mindful that this particular journey started with just two thoughts: first, that I will NOT have my life defined for me by a diagnostic label; and, second, that as long as I’m alive, there is potential for positive change.
Where is your magic place? What fills you with determination to live beyond the limits of the label?
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